Prayers. . .

Today as I heard about the shooting at the elementary school in Conneticut, I  found myself taking moments of silence and praying for those impacted by this tragic event. Though I often don't write much seriousness here, today seems as good as any to put some thoughts out into the world.

 

As I talked with Jason tonight I realized that I may have a different more callous view of the world. Partially because I see mentally ill people nearly every day. I see the pain that people feel that can lead them to do some very drastic and painful things to themselves and to others. I have come to a point in my life, although it saddens me, I realize that this is just our reality. There are some very ill people in the world.

 

Yes, what happened is a tragedy. And though I have some anger about the situation, I also have feelings of angst about the mentally ill man that saw this as an option.

 

Yes, I pray for those impacted by the choices that young man made. I pray for peace and comfort for those who lost children today, who lost a parent, a teacher, a spouse. . . The impact of those deaths is far reaching.

 

Yes I think Mental Health services needs more funding across the nation to support those that are disturbed and need some help. Daily I see my own clients struggling. And with various budget cuts we are having to turn away clients because theres no funding or programs that can help them at this time.

 

Yes I have come to the place where I see this as a part of life. We encounter tragedies every day. What I can do is to appreciate my own life, my own family. Make good decisions for myself and my family and cherish the moments I do have. Life ends, I just don't know when or how. But I do believe that life ends.

 

My heart aches for those parents whose children will not be returning home. My heart aches for the children that survived and now have experienced a traumatic event, which can and does lead to bigger life problems (most of my clients have post traumatic stress disorder, often tied to childhood events). My heart aches for my own children, knowing that I am raising them in a society where this happens, and knowing that our ability to protect our own children is often limited.

 

Yesterday the school across the street was in lock down, a student brought a gun to school. If we continue to live in this neighborhood, our children will attend that school in a few years. This is a scary idea in my head, to know that once my children leave my home I can't protect them. We send them out into the world hoping that they will be safe and secure, however we can't control all of the people that they encounter on their life journey and that in itself is scary to me.

 

I love my darling girls! I feel so blessed to have them both in my life. Though parenthood presents with challenges, it also presents with honor and so much love that I can't even describe how it feels. So tonight as I get ready to fall asleep, I send more prayers up for those whose lives will forever be impacted. I send prayers for my own family, that I will be able to guide and teach my children as much as I can about the world and help to mold them to be the best people that they can be.

 

Love, J.